January 13, 2017 – As a former caregiver serving five family members since 1973 I can trufully say “There aren’t any directions.” Having 40 years years experience I can assure you that every case is different Just as every patient is different so are the ways of caring for each individual.

Certainly there are the basics for giving care: especially to a close friend or a family member

  1. Be loving, kind, patient and treat them as you would like to be treated if you were the patient.
  2. Provide, if possible, some kind of activity even for a fading mind.
  3. Take care of yourself. If the caregiver becomes incapacitated who will do your job.
  4. Get help if possible. It’s tough to care for someone all alone.
  5. Live as normally as possible. Good for you as well as the patient..
  6. Provide nutritious meals and keep to a schedule Don’t forget liquids.
  7. Provide a clean-up time for showers and dressing This is a 2 person job.
  8. Watch for “pressure sores” and infections.
  9. See that the patient has regular checkups with his primary care doctor.
  10. Have a hospital bed delivered when needed.
  11. When you can take a break, get away from your duties. Time spent elsewhere allows you a better perspective.
  12. Get your sleep. You function better and adjust to emergencies when you are rested.
  13. And the list goes on and on, but these, of course are generalities in the caregiving world We all know them just by living in our world, especially if we’ve been a parnt.


There are tools out there to not only use as a caregiver, but as an individual just living life one day at a time. For example: on another email address I have I often get posts from Phil Bolsta who has written a book which he titled“Through God’s Eyes.” I haven’t read the whole book, but I have read a chapter and excerpts from it.

As a woman of faith I think another term for “Through God’s Eyes” might be seeing with eternal perspective and asking oneself, “How does my present situation as a caregiver relate to my beliefs about eternity and life after life? He uses “love” and “fear” as tools in helping solve earthly problems. Love being the positive approach and fear, of course, being a negative approach. For me through my beliefs and spiritual understanding I use Faith and fear. Our teachings tell us that you can’t remain fearful if you maintain faith. Think about that through God’s eyes. Trust that he loves you and has a plan for you. It wouldn’t be unreasonable for you to wonder and even ask what that plan could be. Perhaps it isn’t your plan, but thoughtful prayer may allow you to catch a vision of what our Creator’s plan is.


I believe we spend a lot of time asking that question when adversity enters into our life. “Why me?” Say to yourself, “Why not me?” I don’t know of anyone who has escaped adversity in their life. Illness, untimely death, unthinkable disease and unimagined accidents or happenings seem to be a constant with life. Then for some folks out there as soon as sone problem is solved, another appears out of nowhere and they begin all over with their struggle about whatever is appearing to bring them down and down, often asking, “Why me again?”

I still read one special blog written by Sherri Zshocher titled “Living in the Shadow of Alzheimer’s” or Living With Bob and Al. Bob is her husband and Al is Alzheimer’s. She too is a woman of faith and often includes appropriate scripture and a bit of good advice to end her daily post: “Pause, Praise and Pray.” Begin and end your day the same way. Communication with the Lord always helps.


Originally posted 2017-01-15 08:28:11.


  • Phil Bolsta says:

    Thank you for referring to my book, “Through God’s Eyes.” I actually wrote about my experience with my dad’s Alzheimer’s in the book. You can read it here:

    • aromick says:

      Phil, Thank you for your comment. My writing concerns my experience caring for my in-laws (both had Alzheimer’s), my own mother and finally since the turn of the century my husband. It’s a terrible disease and I can see fear in the eyes of my children and even myself with the disease so profound in the family genes. Good luck with your book. Try scheduling speaking engagements. With a published it gives you and “in” to share your work.

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